Introductions and Definitions

Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to first ever post in Musings of a Reality Deviant!

We've got a lot of content to cover in this, so we might as well get down to brass tacks, to use the cliché.

What is a Reality Deviant and why is it musing?

This is a great question, which I'm glad I have asked myself. A “Reality Deviant” is a word that means just what it says, but we can break it down Webster-style.

Re-al-ity De-vi-ant (Re-ah-li-tee Dee-vee-ant)
noun
1.an Awakened person that defies rules of existence and consensual reality
2.the reason that peanut butter goes well with chocolate but not with cheese
3.a questioner of the status quo of life, politics, and everything
4.Frank Zappa

Now that we've defined it clearly, I will elaborate further and say that I am a Reality Deviant, who has been woken up from a nice, twenty-five year rest. I am musing, because I have caught onto a fundamental secret of existence and you haven't, neener-neener-neener.

And now that my moment of arrogance has passed, I'll point out that the phenomenon of a Reality Deviant is something that by its very nature is repeatable. You may be a Reality Deviant if you don't fit in with established norms, such as if you have tattoos or listen to Phil Collins in the nude. You may be a Reality Deviant—and yes, I mean you, person who just clicked onto this page from a porn link—why on earth are you reading this?

But pretty much, we all are capable of being Reality Deviants, and this is a deeply disturbing thing. Don't let the sheeple of the world catch on, or we could all be in serious trouble.

Who are you, and what exactly is your deal?

My name is Charlie, and my “deal” is everything and nothing at all. This is a blog, what do you want? The internet is a free medium for the expression of thought and information—at least until the government succeeds in taxing it as a commodity.

You want to know more? I'm a twenty-five-year-old writer who lives in Richmond, Virginia, and I like good beer, strange music, zombie films, I'm a Scorpio, and I love long walks on the beach.

You said the government wants to tax the internet. Are you just some crazy, southern conservative?

No and yes. Nes. Yo. This is a multi-part answer to a much more complicated question. I am from the South and I believe that southern history and culture is something that should be cherished and appreciated. I am not a Civil War-reenacting, Confederate Flag-wearing “the South will rise again” fanatic, because that is stupid. Not to say that you can't do all of those things and get away with it, but if you're honestly deluded enough to think that we need to go back in time a la Harry Turtledove and deliver AK-47s to Robert E. Lee, you are probably wrapping your Ford van with aluminum foil instead of reading this blog, so nevermind.

Also, are you kidding me? Have you forgotten that the government has been trying to tack down the internet for years? This isn't new news, Virginia, and with our current monetary problems it's a kid who lives down the street and hasn't come out to play in awhile. But Timmy's mommy said he's feeling much better, so he's thinking about coming to join us again, if you catch my drift.

Final point, I am not a conservative. Conservatives are nationalistic, believe government should be a tool to control morality, and generally don't worry about spending tons of your money. I am a liberal, and not in the way that most of you think. It's a term that's been misapplied for a century and I am officially “taking it back.” Hayek was right, you can't have it anymore and it isn't fair. Gimme!

Is this blog going to have some sort of a focus or point to it?

What do you want me to say? Yes, but it's going to have several foci. For one, it's going to be a focus for my observations of the true occurrences of absurdity in the world as it relates to politics and social life. This planet is so insane, so extremely bizarre that only someone equally crazy can comment on just how weird it is. I will, accordingly, be spending a fair amount of my time going after politicians of the elephant and donkey button-wearing varieties, if for no other reason than if I were the owner of a political party, my button would be something much cooler, like a dragon. Or Frank Zappa.

For two, it's going to express a love for art and microbrew beer, because these two things are one and the same. Alcohol is not art, but the production of high-quality beer, just like high-quality wine is an art form. I also like Scotch, but I'm not going to spend a lot of time “reviewing” any of these things, because it's extremely dull to the people that don't already love that kind of thing. You want to ride the Beer Geek train, get aboard—you'll see me in one of the passenger cars from time to time, but I am the conductor of this train and it is not your ride.It's also because this lovely industry is under a very real threat from government depredations, and it needs to be shielded by the people. Good beer is love, people—get it?

For three, I am working on some sort of book in all this mess, so it's a place for me to collect and organize my thoughts and work. You might not believe it to look at me, but I am doing a lot of research on economics, game theory, the beer and wine industries, philosophy, Alan Watts, migratory patterns of flightless birds, and history. There's something a-brewing up in my noggin' and it's going to take some time to get it all out in an organized fashion. There will be serious posts, nonsensical posts, funny posts, pointless posts. This is a blog, after all.

Insert leading question to allow you to manipulate the flow of this post?

Why, don't mind if I do! Basically, there are three rules to this blog.

1.Keep an open mind and we just might be able to learn something from each other
2.If you can't take a joke or remember that this is all absurd, please leave and darken someone else's blog or you will be taunted mercilessly.
3.It is extremely unlikely that you will like or appreciate each and every post that I make, but I am not writing this to make money or appeal to a demographic, so if this is problematic see rule #2.
4.I willfully break my own rules and am extremely cognizant of when I am doing so. Didn't you read the part about being a Reality Deviant?

You said earlier about a “fundamental secret of existence.” What does that mean?

It means, oh scholarly one that I'm working on some crazy theory that stable Nash Equlibria are achievable in social life if we are honest, open, and decide to cooperate with each other just right. It's extremely nonsensical, hippie-dippy-granola-chewy, and is arrived at by endless logical proofs applied by a mind that may or may not have studied hard enough in college.

It also means that I believe that life operates on a concept of logical-illogic, controlled insanity, or whatever oppositional description you would like to give it. In essence, life is absurd and beautiful, so live for love and laugh at life. And if you are somehow incapable of that, just remember that when you pay your bill you should leave a little tip for the next poor sucker on his one way trip.

Jesus, don't overthink this one—just relax, will you?

Why Frank Zappa?

This answer is way, way too long to devote to just one blog post, so I'm not even going to bother at this juncture.

Suffice it to say that “Cosmik Debris” describes much of the purpose of this blog. You don't need to love him to get what I'm driving at, but it certainly doesn't hurt!



Look here brother, who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?